It’s been awhile since I’ve shared my own kids on the blog…far too long, in fact! I got some cute shots of them playing earlier this week in our (messy) playroom, so I thought I should come and share.

Claire will be a year old in February, and I just can’t believe it.

I know I’m biased, but admit it - you think she’s seriously cute too.

Awwww, sisterly love.

It just makes your heart melt. Until the big one grabs the little one in a headlock and spins her to the ground. Not that that ever happens around here or anything.

Claire’s latest thing is brushing her own hair. Good thing, since she’s got quite the messy mop!

OH! And she said “mama” for the first time today! I was cooking lunch, and she was really upset that I couldn’t pick her up. She kept pulling up on my leg, and I’d have to sit her back down on the floor as I moved from one spot in the kitchen to the other. Finally she pulled up on my leg one last time, and literally yelled “MAMA!” clear as a bell! Of course, she hasn’t done it again since, even though we’ve been trying since lunch. Lil stinker.

Is it just me, or does Macy look so grown up here?

She’s really giving me a time lately. Defiant, independent, stubborn, actively ignores me. We thought we were lucky because we never really had to deal with the terrible twos…but I honestly think this is worse. She is so smart and has comebacks that make me stop in my tracks!

Tonight, she absolutely refused to eat one. single. bite. of dinner. I know she was hungry, and I knew it was a control thing. I also know that I’m not the kind of mother who is going to get up from my dinner to go make something else for her. I tried taking away privileges. I tried reasoning with her. And as lame as it sounds, I even pulled out the old “choooo choooo…open up, the train is coming into the tunnel!” Oh yeah, she opened up, I deposited the “train.” One second later, she spit the food out and said “the tunnel is broked.”

Seriously! How am I supposed to discipline this child when I can’t stop laughing? (By the way, we compromised on 6 bites of dinner. And then some healthy, no sugar applesauce to make me feel better that at least she got a vitamin or two in her.)

No matter what though…this girl has me smitten.

We got about 5-6 inches of snow here today, and I got to stay home from work and enjoy some super awesome family time. I got a lot of fun pictures from today, so look for those to come (hopefully tomorrow!)

This blog has primarily been the place to share client images and photography specials, with a smattering of my own children as well. But lately I’ve been drawn to using it as a sort of personal journal as well. So I’m instituting Monday Musings! Just random thoughts, snippets of what’s happening in my life. I will share my own personal stories, and maybe build a little community where we can all share our dreams and our fears.

THE ART OF HAVING IT ALL

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am a full-time employee. I am a business owner, a photographer.

I cook, clean, pay bills, grocery shop, do laundry. Spend quality time with my husband and my daughters. I try to spend time with family and friends, although admittedly this the area of my life that is most neglected. I plan birthday parties and clean up spilled milk and coordinate schedules. Give baths and hugs. Read stories, make crafts, wash crayon off the walls. I drive a 50 mile round-trip commute 5 days a week. I sell houses, and keep up with all of the day-to-day corporate nonsense that goes along with my job. With my business, I am the photographer, the creative mind, the editor, the designer. The bookkeeper, the marketer, the accountant. The bill-payer, the invoice chaser, the decision-maker. The right brain and the left brain.

Most days I am doing almost all of the above. Some days I feel like I’m going mad…something has to give. But what? Definitely not my time with my family. That’s a non-negotiable. As much as I’d like to give up the full-time job, that’s not an option at this point. I’ve been the bread-winner in our family for the past 8 years, and we rely heavily on my income. So…the photography business? My passion? The one thing -besides wife and mother- that I feel destined to do?

At what point does chasing your dreams become a liability?

I’ve worked a non-traditional schedule for the last 8 years. I work a lot of weekends…a LOT. I’m usually home on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My schedule means that Mike and I rarely have any days off together. Even less now that, as of recently, my weekends off have been reduced to four. That’s four per YEAR.

Before Mike and I had children, we didn’t mind the schedule too much. (This was also back in the good ol’ days when I was able to take one weekend off per month!) Even when Macy came along, we adjusted pretty well. By the time Claire was born, I had started up my business. The real estate market was suffering badly, and my income took a 45% nosedive. OUCH. Two kids, two full-time jobs, new money worries, and working full-time on a fledging new “part-time” business. It’s enough to make you want to throw in the towel some days.

But the craziest part of this entire story is that I have never been happier! And before you start dialing the nearest psychiatric hospital, I’ll tell you why.

I have the unconditional support of the greatest man on the planet. Mike is my rock. My best friend. He is the one who dries my tears and makes me laugh every day. He brings me back to earth when my worries could send me to the moon. He takes care of a lot of household chores and never complains. I swear he’s destined for sainthood.

He shares my core values, and encourages me to chase my dreams. He is the one standing behind me even as I spend hours upon hours working on my computer while neglecting him. (Sorry honey!) We are steadily putting plans into place, brick by brick by brick, to secure a better future for us and for our children. It’s been hard work, and we will continue to make sacrifices, but together we are making it happen.

I never want to take him for granted, and I try to make sure he knows he’s appreciated. We’ve instituted Date Night on Friday nights, which we both look forward to. And right now, because we are watching our pennies, date night consists of watching a movie on the couch at home, with some microwave popcorn. But we talk about how one day, when our finances are a little more stable, we’ll be hiring babysitters and hitting the town!

Mike, I want to thank you for always being there for me, for being so understanding and supportive. For working so terribly hard at reaching our shared vision for our future. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to you! I feel like we have grown so much closer, even during this most trying time of our married life. Thank you. I love you. I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner for us!

Next Monday, I will share some things we do to help keep all these balls in the air, including chore-sharing, daily tasks and menu-planning.

Oh, and I know it’s like a cardinal sin or something for a photographer to make a blog post without also posting a picture. Oh well, they’ll just have to throw me in blogger jail! (Hey, maybe I can catch up on some sleep!)

A reminder about the winter newborn promotion! If you are expecting a new baby between now and March 31st, book your newborn session today and receive 25 complimentary birth announcements + one free 8×10 print!

Be sure to reserve your spot on the calendar early ~ newborns must be photographed within the first 10 days of life!

I have been photographing this little love since she was in her mama’s belly. You can see her as a newborn, a 4 month old and a 6 month old on the blog!

Now this honeypot is 9 months old, and she has SEVEN teeth! (By the way, my Claire just popped her first tooth today, at a ripe old 11 months old!)

Harper was a doll during our session - so happy and smiley. And on the moooooove!

Thanks so much you guys, I can’t wait to show you the whole gallery!

Sam is one of my favorite participants in the Building Blocks first year plan. I have done her newborn session and her 3-month session, and today I was SO excited for her 6-month session!

6-month olds are generally SO happy and SO smiley, and Sam was eager to oblige!

Of course, she had her more serious side too…especially when we were trying to distract her from something MUCH more interesting than the camera.

Here she is in mid-sentence telling me exactly what I can go and do with said camera…

And just one more, because I just can’t resist this face!

So, remember this little guy from last week? He has a brother too!

Yep, twins! Keegan and Liam are the first pair of newborn twins that I’ve had the opportunity to photograph, and it took two sessions to get it done!

Aren’t they so SWEET?!

Congratulations again to my dear friends, Kelly and Patrick! I hope they let you get some rest soon!

A teeny tiny sneak peek of something I’m working on right now…